The first plat of the new town of Sarasota
(December 1885) was recorded.
Muntadar al-Zaidi: An American
Story
By JT Seravat
So what’s next for the
shoe-throwing Iraqi journalist?
So you don’t know or haven’t memorized the name Muntadar
al-Zaidi yet?
That’ll change.
Here’s what’s in store for the soon-to-be-famous Iraqi
reporter who threw his shoes at President George W. Bush.
The man who will soon surpass Joe “The Plumber”
Wurzelbacher as 2008’s most insignificant person who was
turned into a media darling, celebrity, author, speaker
and –dare we say it?
Sarah Palin’s Vice Presidential running mate in 2012.
It will of course all start innocently enough. ...
MAY 14 9:15 a.m.
until MAY 14 3:37 p.m.
Beautiful season. Lasting six hours and 22
minutes, Spring in Florida brings
temperatures in the 70’s and light breezes.
MAY 14 until NOVEMBER 27
Hot as Hell. Extreme humidity. Sand on beach
causes second-degree burns on feet. Small
children and the elderly drop like flies if
outdoors without water. Outdoor workers
required to be willing to sweat like pigs and
drink up to 12 gallons of water a day for low
pay and bad health care plans. Smart people
have evacuated the state by 3:30 p.m. May 14 to
parts north. Scientist arrive each year from
Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Mayo
Clinic to study heat affects on plants, animals
and residents. Scientist are seen wearing
special NASA cooling suits. People weighing
less than 100 pounds burst into flames if
outdoors for more than 90 minutes between 1:00
p.m. and 4:00 p.m. People screaming. “I can’t
take it anymore” are seen running north on I-95
and I-75 naked. Al Gore sells Boca Raton home
and spends summers in Wasilla, Ak where it’s
cooler.
HURRICANE LOTTERY SEASON-GOOD LUCK.
Beautiful weather. Warm days and cool nights,
no hurricanes and NO HUMIDITY. SIX WORDS -
TOURISTS, SNOWBIRDS, TOURISTS. SNOWBIRDS,
TOURISTS, SNOWBIRDS - SEASON IS HERE. Millions
added to population as the wealthy and tourist
flocked to Florida away from the Winter of the
northern cities and Europe. A three-mile drive
to the grocery store can take 90 minutes. Major
accidents clog highways and state roads during
rush hours. The elderly visitors wander
aimlessly on foot and in vehicles. Eating at
most restaurants between 4 p.m. and 8 p.m.
requires waits of two to four hours. Prices on
everything from convenient store coffee to
hotels go up. Residents unable to afford to
live in Florida during Winter write songs about
shooting snowbirds and drink excessively while
awaiting Spring.
BREAKING NEWS - Canadians turn aboot and
go home due to cold weather in Florida
