Hendry Co. Jobless Rate - 13%

Job(less) Quote

"If they'll extend the unemployment benefits for another 193 weeks, I'll be able to retire and collect my social security."


Theodore Lucias Sempleton

Former worker of some sort
(He couldn't remember the kind of work he did.)

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WHAT TO DO ON YOUR
LUNCH HOUR






Employees Spit On Newspaper CEO's Grave


Working Man & Woman Commentary

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HELP WANTED


WORK NOW - SKILL & UNSKILLED
Have you been fired from several jobs up North?
Bad attitude and poor work habits?
Florida jobs await you - Start today!!!!

MANAGEMENT POSITIONS - START NOW
IQ scores equal to your age? No interest in work.
Can't work more than four hours-a-day without a nap.
Known by your employees as a lazy-ass?
Generally, have no earthly clue what's going on?
YOU"RE HIRED

SENIOR MANAGEMENT / CEO /CFOs>
Forget where you are?
Wonder what you are doing at work?
What you should do next?
Easily manipulated by your managers?
Unable to make important decisions?
IF YOU HAVE...
-Been fired from at least three management jobs?
-Filed for banruptcy two or more times?
-Run two or more companies into the ground?.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! You can be in charge, here in Florida!

444-DUH-JOBS GOOD LUCK SUCKERS !!!!


WORKING NEWS FROM THE FOLKS AT "THE ONION"


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TODAY'S DAILY STUPIDITY

Published 4/7/09


By Gary Grouper



(SWG) – – Vermont became the fourth state in the United States to pass legislation making gay marriage legal recently.

Friday, several business groups surprised the nation by calling a press conference to react to the legalization of gay marriage in yet another state.

The American Jewelers Association, The Professional Wedding Photographers and Videographers of America, The Flower Growers of North America and the Intensified Sugar Wedding Cake Manufacturers Association met at the Chicago Headquarters of the political think tank organization, The Americans for Decency and No Gays.

“We are here to congratulate the gay community in their efforts to convince yet another state to legalize marriage for their, ah, well, kind,” stated George Steeley, President of the American Jewelers Association and spokesman for all the groups.

“We think it’s a fine thing for those people to get married, even though, and let me make this very clear, no one on this stage today representing these business groups is gay,” said Steeley.

After his statement Steely took questions from the media.

Steeley was asked why the group decided to join forces and issue their support for gay marriage and in doing so, why they would choose to hold their press conference at the American for Decency and No Gays headquarters, a group vehemently and vocally opposed to gay marriage?

“Well, I think it’s obvious we wanted to make it clear to the AFDNG that we support their efforts in opposing gay marriage and do not want to offend the, ah, well straight, I mean normal people in America who support our businesses,” said Steeley. “But if…” Steeley cut off the reporter’s follow-up question.

“Look, I think it should be obvious that we are doing this because these gay people having weddings means more business and more profits for all of us. You think we support these fa.., gay people’s right to marry? Of course not,” said Steeley.

“Hell, I’m from Alabama and my Daddy owned three businesses there in the 1960s. You think for one minute he came out in support of civil rights, because he thought it was a good idea,” Steeley said

“Now just print in your damn newspapers and on your damn TV stations what nice people we are all supporting the gay community and we get the hell out of here,” Steeley concluded and walked from the podium.

“When asked what he thought of Steeley’s remarks for the group Flower Growers of North America President Rose Lilac said, “Well after Mr. Steeley’s remarks, I expect many of our members will be out of business in six months.”

This is Gary Grouper reporting. Have a better day today and a better night tomorrow.

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