FLORIDA STUPIDITY.C0M

5/11/09
CONGRATULATIONS
YOU QUALIFY TO LIVE IN
FLORIDuh
(Secaucus mayor confers with family on future after corruption charges)
HELL MOVE TO FLORIDA AND RUN FOR MAYOR DOWN HERE SOMEWHERE

• UF loses spot as top party school to Penn State

• 
  OH YEAH, WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR, WE'LL BE
  # 1 AGAIN
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  • Florida doctor resigns from post over Obama 'witch doctor' image

  • 
    sun-sentinel.com
    Monday, July 27
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    • Man sleeping in Dumpster gets picked up with trash
      

    • gainsville.com
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    • Former Waitress Sues Hooters for Firing
      

  • nbcmiami.com
    Tuesday, July, 27
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  • Caught in the act!: Bear plunders through garbage
    (CAUGHT IN THE ACT: NEWSPAPER RUNS DUMB "BEAR IN DUMPSTER" STORY AGAIN)
    

• nwfdailynews.com
  Monday, July 27
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• Fla. spends less than national average per student
  DUH REALLY?
  

• bizjournals.com
  Monday, July 27
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• Middle-school gym class now mandatory -- but not funded
  Classes could be crowded, too, because lawmakers did not OK money for extra gym teachers
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Monday, July 27
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• Gun Range Decides Against Rentals
  (NO BACKGROUND CHECKS, JUST PAY FOR IT)

• wesh.com
  Tuesday, April 28
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• Fla. bird strike bird - Use any means necessary to rid an airport of birds and other animals
  (YEEE HAAAA - GRAB YOUR SHOTGUN AND COME HAVE SOME FUN AT THE AIRPORT)

• miamiherald.com
  Monday, April 27
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• Here's the keys: $60,000 Audi stolen off Naples dealership lot
  

• naplenews.com
  Monday, April 27
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• Sex-Doll Threesome Man Gets Off
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Sunday, April 26
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• Woman arrested for throwing lemons at husband
  (ANITA BRYANT WOULD HAVE USED ORANGES)
  

• cbs12.com
  Sunday, April 26
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• Confederate flag spurs argument that led to shooting
  
  

• heraldtribune.com
  Sunday, April 26
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• Woman breaks into prison for tryst
  (FLORIDuh EDUCATED DEFINITION FOR TRYST: "Hey, bi..., come into to prison to see me and we'll f...")
  

• gainsville.com
  Wednesday, April 22
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• Teacher Accused Of Sex With Boy, 14
  (IT'S NOT A CRIME IT'S THE FLORIDA LIFESTYLE)
  

• clickorlando.com
  Wednesday, April 22
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• Lost Spider Monkey Returns To Circus
  

• wesh.com
  Tuesday, April 21
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• Owner Of 37 Pit Bulls Found Dead
  

• clickorlando.com
  Tuesday, April 21
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• Fort Pierce mom accused of child neglect after abandoning children in store
  

• tcpalm.com
  Sunday, April 19
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• Don't mess with vets
  

• bradenton.com
  Monday, April 20
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• Cop Caught With Hand In The Pot Jar
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Sunday, April 19
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• Giddy-eh? Brooksville lotto winner opens nude dude ranch
  

• abcactionnews.com
  Saturday, April 18
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• Grouping suspect arrested, "Excuse me Miss, you have a bug on your breast."
  

• ocala.com
  Wednesday, April 16
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• Gainesville student drives car into State Attorney's Office
  

• alligator.org
  Tuesday, April 15
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• Mom Fakes Her Own Kidnapping for Ransom
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Tuesday, April 14
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• School Falls Behind On Payments, Students Evicted
  

• justnews.com
  Tuesday, April 14
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• Mayor of Darkness
  

• miaminewtimes.com
  Sunday, April 12
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• Man punches cop
  

• dailycommercial.com
  Sunday, April 12
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• Shoplifters caught after leaving photos in abandoned shopping carts
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Saturday, April 11
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• Cops: Motel manager hid video camera to record guest taking shower
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Saturday, April 11
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• Woman Livestreams Home Robbery on Web Cam
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Friday, April 10
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• Bad idea of the week: Stealing shirts from law enforcement conference
  

• 2.tbo.com
  Thursday, April 9
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• Spring brings return of dive-bombing birds
  (INCOMING)

• orlandosentinel.com
  Wednesday, April 8
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• FPL had security guards asleep at Nuke Plants
  

• justnews.com
  Wednesday, April 8
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• Universtiy of Miami Booze Bus 86ed
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Wednesday, April 8
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• Ku Klux Klan calling cards dropped off at Davie restaurant
  

• sun-sentinel.com
  Tuesday, April 7
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• Florida 'fiscally sad'
  

• bizjournals.com
  Tuesday, April 7
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• Sad-tale woman accused of fraud
  (LIAR,LIAR)

• heraldtribune.com
  Tuesday, April 7
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• Boynton Beach teacher accused of starving cats is sent home, with pay
  (WITH PAY?)

• sun-sentinel.com
  Monday, April 6
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• Boca parrot to appear in court Monday
  

• palmbeachpost.com
  Sunday, April 5
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• 2 SUVs crash into homes
  

• cbs12.com
  Saturday, April 4
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• Dinosaurs Buried In Miami Yard, Homeowner Says
  

• justnews.com
  Thursday, April 2
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• Want to drive a car? Want a divorce? It could cost more
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Thursday, April 2
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• U.S. Census Bureau begins Florida's 2010 count
  (OK, 1-2-3-4-AH, WAIT LET'S START OVER, THAT'S 1-2...)

• sun-sentinel.com
  Tuesday, March 31
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• Young gator bites Tavares(man)
  

• dailycommercial.com
  Tuesday, March 31
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• Girl Scout cookie money stolen
  

• wftv.com
  Monday, March 30
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• Elderly Man Pulls Gun In Road Rage Incident
  

• wftv.com
  Monday, March 30
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• Hundreds lose jobs as Disney World layoffs accelerate
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Thursday, March 26
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• Fla. man gets 2 years for pipe-bombing dolphins
  (How about he serves his two years in shark infested waters?)
  

• miamiherald.com
  Wednesday, March 25
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• Brawl at Mount Dora bar detailed; 2 cops involved
  

• dailycommercial.com
  Thursday, March 26
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• Tavares will have water transportation at annual boat show this weekend
  (Good idea, huh?)
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Wednesday, March 25
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• Miami VA Hospital may have given vets aids
  (Your Florida Healthcare system at work)
  

• cbs4.com
  Tuesday, March 24
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• Hernando teacher charged with slapping boy, 12, at Explorer K-8
  (TODAY'S LESSON-ASSUALT)
  

• tampabay.com
  Tuesday, March 24
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• Burger King Employee Charged With Stealing From Customer
  (HAVE IT OUR WAY)
  

• northeast2.tbo.com
  Tuesday, March 24
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• From hedgehog to howler monkey
  

• sun-sentinel.com
  Monday, March 23
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• Sheriff to Send Letters to Wives of Men Busted for Prostitution
  (DIVORCE LAWYERS APPLAUD MOVE)
  

• firstcoastnews.com
  Monday, March 23
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• Too much beer, not enough bathrooms
  (People pissed)
  

• tampabay.com
  Sunday, March 22
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• Couple, Son Charged With Doctor-Shopping For Prescriptions
  (ALL IN THE FAMILY)
  

• northeast2.tbo.com
  Friday, March 20
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• Group wants ghosts saved from foreclosure
  (GHOSTS NEED BAILOUT?)
  

• ocala.com
  Thursday, March 19
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• Judge Accused Of Aiding Stripper Resigns
  (AND YOU WERE THINKING WHAT?)
  

• clickorlando.com
  Thursday, March 19
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• Man charged with aiming gun at Walton deputy pleads not guilty
  (HOPEFULLY IT'S AN INSANITY PLEA)
  

• nwfdailynews.com
  Thursday, March 19
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• Man showing off for a woman falls from 6th floor balcony of St. Pete Beach hotel — and survives
  
  

• tampabay.com
  Wednesday, March 18
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• State Eying Porn Tax
  
  

• nbcmiami.com
  Wednesday, March 18
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• First-Grade Teacher Charged With '88 Murder
  
  

• clickorlando.com
  Wednesday, March 18
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• Skull Found On Top Of Grave In Cemetery (Video)
  
  

• wftv.com
  Tuesday, March 17
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• Resort Employees Hug Trees In Protest(Video)
  
  

• wesh.com
  Tuesday, March 17
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• Man abuses pigs to MEET WOMAN
  
  

• keynews.com
  Monday, March 16
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• Man walks away after pickup runs over him
  
  

• news-journalonline.com
  Sunday, March 15
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• Owner faces charges for allowing monkey to escape
  
  

• orlandosentinel.com
  Monday, March 16
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• Gunfire erupts after racial slurs
  
  

• news-journalonline.com
  Monday, March 16
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• Rats in her office send Property Appraiser Lori Parrish up the wall
  
  

• sun-sentinel.com
  Tuesday, March 12
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• Boy, 4, brings pot to Tamarac pre-school
  
  

• sun-sentinel.com
  Tuesday, March 11
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• Commission, Chamber Of Commerce Debate: Should New, Renovated Restaurants Be Equipped With Baby Changing Stations?
  
  (IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL POOP)

• bocanews.com
  Sunday, March 8
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• Drug Tests for Unemployment Benefits
  
  (MAYBE WE SHOULD TEST THEIR IQs, WEIGH THEM, RUN THEIR DNA and FRISK THEM A-L-S-O.)

• wjhg.com
  Tuesday, March 10
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• Lawnmower starts brush fire
  

• nbc-2.com
  Tuesday, March 10
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• Got a python in your bra? You're right at home at our airports
  

• palmbeachpost.com
  Sunday, March 8
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• Gangs had their own radio station
  

• wesh.com
  Saturday, March 7
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• Man steals $45K ring off hand of 92-year-old
  

• miamiherald.com
  Sunday, March 8
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• 8 arrested at 'Girls Gone Wild' party in Sanford
  

• sun-sentinel.com
  Friday, March 6
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• Can magnets keep crocodiles away from Florida's suburbs?
  

• miamiherald.com
  Wednesday, March 4
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• Mistrial Declared After Jury Consults Dictionary
  

• justnews.com
  Tuesday, March 3
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• Cop tries to read laptop while driving, crashes
  

• tampabay.com
  Tuesday, March 3
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• City backs off bid to sue critics
  

• news-journalonline.com
  Tuesday, March 3
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• Man Says 'Devil' Made Him Hit Someone With Truck
  

• brandonnews.com
  Monday, March 2
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• Car with dead body in it had 7 parking tickets
  

• jusstnews.com
  Thursday, Feb 26
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